{"id":1419,"date":"2020-11-18T20:00:47","date_gmt":"2020-11-18T20:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.christmas-connections.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1419"},"modified":"2021-11-19T02:45:20","modified_gmt":"2021-11-19T02:45:20","slug":"53-funny-things-to-put-in-a-christmas-card-in-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.christmas-connections.co.uk\/blog\/53-funny-things-to-put-in-a-christmas-card-in-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"53 Funny Things to Put in a Christmas Card in 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Christmas can be stressful and hectic, but overall, it\u2019s the season of good cheer and merriment. In 2020, however, it might be less of a joyous festive season than it usually is – what with having to stay indoors, avoid Christmas parties, and keep socially distanced from our loved ones.<\/p>\n

Because of this, it\u2019s even more important than ever to try and spread a bit of Christmas spirit. So, what better way to cheer up your loved ones than by writing them a funny Christmas card? If you\u2019re stuck for ideas, we\u2019ve put together 53 examples of funny things to write in a Christmas card in 2020.<\/p>\n

Funny Christmas Card Wording Examples<\/h5>\n

1. Please note: Christmas has been cancelled this year. When you told Father Christmas you\u2019d been good, he died laughing!<\/p>\n

2. Being on the Nice List might get you more presents, but being on the Naughty List is so much more fun. Merry Christmas!<\/p>\n

3. Is it just me, or is Father Christmas looking younger and younger every year?<\/p>\n

4. Have you ever wondered why Father Christmas is so jolly? He knows where all the bad girls live.<\/p>\n

5. As a parent, I now understand why Bing Crosby dreamt of a place \u201cwhere the treetops glisten and children listen\u201d!<\/p>\n

6. Whoever said \u201call is calm, all is bright\u201d has clearly never been to my house on Christmas morning\u2026<\/p>\n

7. This Christmas, remember: you can learn a lot about a person from the way they handle tangled fairy lights.<\/p>\n

8. There are three stages to a man\u2019s life: first he believes in Father Christmas, then he doesn\u2019t believe in Father Christmas, and finally, he becomes Father Christmas.<\/p>\n

9. This year, I asked Father Christmas for a unicorn. He told me that was ridiculous. So instead, I asked for five minutes\u2019 peace and quiet to pee in peace, and drink my coffee while it\u2019s hot. He asked me what colour unicorn I wanted!<\/p>\n

10. Merry Christmas! I hope you like your present. You should, because you gave it to me last year!<\/p>\n

11. This year, I\u2019ll make sure I have plenty of Christmas Spirit: vodka, gin, rum, and whiskey!<\/p>\n

12. I spoke to Father Christmas – he\u2019s seen your recent Facebook posts. He says he\u2019s giving you a dictionary for Christmas!<\/p>\n

13. May your holiday season be as perfect and beautiful as it looks on Instagram.<\/p>\n

14. This year, I hope that all of your gifts are exactly what you wanted – and if not, I hope they at least come with the receipts!<\/p>\n

15. On Christmas day, I\u2019ll be dashing, dancing, and prancing until I get well and truly blitzened.<\/p>\n

16. I\u2019m dreaming of a white Christmas this year. But if that runs out, I\u2019m quite happy to drink the red!<\/p>\n

17. I put so much thought into your gift this year, that it\u2019s now too late to buy it. Oops! Merry Christmas anyway!<\/p>\n

18. Don we now our Christmas jumpers, fa la la la la, la la la la!<\/p>\n

19. This year, I decided to write a personalised message in every card. So erase as applicable: dear friend\/family member\/colleague\/husband, Merry Christmas!<\/p>\n

20. Merry Christmas! If you wanted to invite me for Christmas dinner, I\u2019ve got my stretchy trousers ready!
\nFunny Jokes to Put in Christmas Cards
\nHere are some classic \u2018Christmas cracker jokes\u2019 that will have your friends and family laughing when they open your card.<\/p>\n

21. How do you know that the Three Wise Men were really men? Because women wouldn\u2019t have brought gold, frankincense and myrrh. They\u2019d have brought nappies, wine, and ready meals for the week!<\/p>\n

22. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis!<\/p>\n

23. How does Father Christmas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp, and even!<\/p>\n

24. What do you call Father Christmas when he forgets to bring his map? A Lost Claus!<\/p>\n

25. What do you call a child that won\u2019t sit on Father Christmas\u2019s lap? Claustrophobic!<\/p>\n

26. What happened when Father Christmas went speed dating? He pulled a cracker!<\/p>\n

27. What do you get when you cross Father Christmas with a duck? A Christmas Quacker!<\/p>\n

28. Who is Father Christmas married to? Mary Christmas!<\/p>\n

29. What do you get if you tie a bell to a skunk? Jingle Smells!<\/p>\n

30. What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner? Twerky!<\/p>\n

31. What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!<\/p>\n

32. How will Brexit affect your Christmas dinner? There will be no Brussels!<\/p>\n

33. How do snowmen get around? They ride their icicles!<\/p>\n

34. Why did Father Christmas quit smoking? Because it was bad for his elf!<\/p>\n

35. What is Father Christmas\u2019s dog\u2019s name? Santa Paws!<\/p>\n

36. What is every parent\u2019s favourite Christmas carol? Silent Night!<\/p>\n

37. Why did the Christmas light take all of her friends along on a date? Because when one Christmas light goes out, they all do!<\/p>\n

38. What do you call Father Christmas\u2019s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!<\/p>\n

39. What kind of motorbike does Father Christmas ride? A Holly Davidson!<\/p>\n

40. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!<\/p>\n

Funny Quarantine\/Coronavirus Christmas Jokes<\/h4>\n

This Christmas is likely to be a little different because of the coronavirus pandemic. But the best way to keep Christmas spirits up is by spreading laughter. So why not cheer up your loved ones this year by including a joke about the virus in their Christmas card!<\/p>\n

41. In 2020, it\u2019s not just Father Christmas that only visits once per year. It\u2019s everyone!<\/p>\n

42. Money is scarce and times are hard, but I still got you a Christmas card! Happy COVID Christmas!<\/p>\n

43. You thought that the pandemic would be over by Christmas, didn\u2019t you? But it\u2019s all ended in tiers!<\/p>\n

44. It\u2019s even more important that the kids get to bed early this Christmas eve. They\u2019ve got to stay 2 metres away from Father Christmas!<\/p>\n

45. All I want for Christmas is some toilet paper and hand sanitizer!<\/p>\n

46. What\u2019s the best way to avoid touching your face this Christmas? Have a mince pie in one hand and a glass of wine in the other!<\/p>\n

47. This Christmas, there are so many good coronavirus jokes going around – it\u2019s turned into a pundemic!<\/p>\n

48. Did you hear the great joke about the coronavirus? Never mind – I don\u2019t want to spread it around!<\/p>\n

49. Merry Christmas! I would have phoned you to tell you that, but you won\u2019t be able to understand me through my mask!<\/p>\n

50. For Christmas, I bought my husband a map of the world and a dart. I told him to throw the dart and wherever it lands, we\u2019ll go there once the pandemic is over. Well, it looks like we\u2019re going to spend two weeks behind the sofa!<\/p>\n

51. I always stay at home in my pyjamas on Christmas Day anyway, but at least this year I have a good excuse!<\/p>\n

52. The best thing about COVID-19 at Christmas time is that nobody\u2019s allowed to visit anyone\u2019s homes – so I no longer have to hide from Christmas carollers!<\/p>\n

53. On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me: 3 rolls of toilet paper, 2 face masks and a bottle of hand sanitizer!<\/p>\n

Funny Christmas Cards to Send Your Friends This Year<\/h4>\n

Once you\u2019ve decided what to write in your funny Christmas cards, it\u2019s time to choose the cards themselves. Fortunately, here at Christmas Connections<\/a> we stock a wide range of funny Christmas cards<\/a>, perfect to put a smile on your loved ones\u2019 faces this year.<\/p>\n

All of our cards are fully customisable, so that you can write your own jokes on the inside. Your cards will arrive complete with envelopes, so that all you need to do is address, stamp, and post them. And what\u2019s more, for every card you buy, we\u2019ll donate 10p to a charity of your choice!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Christmas can be stressful and hectic, but overall, it\u2019s the season of good cheer and merriment. In 2020, however, it might be less of a joyous festive season than it usually is – what with having to stay indoors, avoid Christmas parties, and keep socially distanced from our loved ones. Because of this, it\u2019s even …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1919,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96],"tags":[199,202,200,201],"class_list":{"0":"post-1419","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christmas-cards","8":"tag-christmas-card-wordings","9":"tag-christmas-jokes","10":"tag-funny-christmas-card-wording","11":"tag-funny-quarantine-wordings","12":"anons"},"yoast_head":"\n53 Funny Things to Put in a Christmas Card in 2020 - Christmas Connections Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christmas-connections.co.uk\/blog\/53-funny-things-to-put-in-a-christmas-card-in-2020\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"53 Funny Things to Put in a Christmas Card in 2020 - Christmas Connections Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Christmas can be stressful and hectic, but overall, it\u2019s the season of good cheer and merriment. 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